When Enough is Enough Already
"Break Glass" with this core coaching visual + Writing for you this fall/spring
Enough!
Enough, enough, enough « this is the cry I’ve been hearing from so many directions - within myself as I continue to travel whitewater - but also externally. Friends, clients, family… maybe… you?
The cry of ‘enough already’ can be so fiery! And fierce, yet filled with agony. Like the energy of someone ready to ‘break glass’ at all costs because life feels like a dire emergency.
When life feels like an emergency, we become more animal-like in our responses than ever.
Our bodies crouch low, our eyes focus intently, and our heart pumps more blood per minute, all to make us ready. Ready for what? Who knows, these days. But something! Something bad must be about to happen. #UGH #Lifein2022
Suffice to say, whatever the latest emergency, life becomes engorged with pathos and it’s extra demoralising when we grasp for our coping tools, only to find them dull and inadequate. Like a toothbrush cleaning a tub.
In these moments I often find myself cursing, “WTF am I a coach for, where are my coaching tools, how am I so at the mercy of my life?”
It happens to all of us. There are times when things just feel helpless.
It used to be that when I hit this place I would lash out. The people around me had better watch it! Though that’s no longer the case, instead, it means I internalise.
That’s not entirely healthy either, so I’ve taken to art. It, along with tai chi, form this beautiful middle arena of not talking trash to myself, not being mean to others, and in that zone, my animal self unwinds.
Increasing the middle zone between internalising and externalising is part of how we human well, and I find certain tools are particularly helpful. (Coaches and therapists, friends with big ears can help, but in the middle of the night, not as convenient.)
In response to the cries of ‘enough’ from clients, I’ve been using a set of visuals, which, until now, I’ve not had a chance to share at the “How to Be Human” blog.
Let’s change that today:
Core Coaching Tool for When You’re Stuck: The Hot Air Balloon
Think of a situation in your life where you feel stuck, something just isn’t working, or you’re at your wit’s end. Imagine you’re in a hot air balloon. The flame in the balloon is what’s causing you to go up, towards your goal. But you’ll only go so far with sandbags attached, the things that are pulling/dragging the balloon down.
Sample questions for identifying where a person has drag:
You say you feel stuck/going nowhere/things are not working. Can you give some examples?
I heard you use the words heavy/sluggish/passive/etc. What other words would you use?
If we go through some of the categories in your life (finance, relationship, career, health, etc.) how would you describe them? « can bring up elements for both drag and lift.
Sample questions for identifying where a person has lift:
You seem energised by ____________. What’s behind that?
You used the word momentum/hope/etc. as you described the situation. Say more.
Fill in the two buckets as a first step. Then, step back. One of the strengths of the Hot Air Balloon visual is how clearly the lift and the drag work against each other to create paralysis. The kind of poisonous, self-destructive, and wasteful paralysis where months and years go by in the stuck/had enough state.
When ready, look to the items under ‘drag’ in the visual, and address each in turn. This is how you metaphorically release sandbags… to increase lift.
I call this a Core Coaching Visual because it’s widely applicable. (Limited if the person doesn’t know what a hot air balloon is, but if they’re familiar with that, the visual will almost always work.)
Visuals have the benefit of going beyond the cognitive to things like emotion, our pain body, and the childlike energy inside us.
Consider this my invitation to assertively use the Hot Air Balloon visual for yourself.
Consider this my invitation to assertively use the visual with clients. (Non-commercially, please don’t sell this visual as your own.)
May this and other like visuals be of help as we human through these oh-so human times.
Regarding Cool Metaphors (such as the Hot Air Balloon), ILLUSTRATIONS and Writing
Quick question: Have you ever heard of a strategic thought partner who also WRITES FOR YOU? or edits for you?
That’s me! (Raising both hands. :-) ) That’s right. I’ve been a coach for so long, I feel resistance from people who can’t think of me any other way. I’m a writer too! And…
As a writer propelled by a strategic coaching approach, I’m specifically here for your most important, but lets-face-it-neglected content, your all-over-the-place notes, your pinball-machine ideas. Are you interested in making actual writing appear together, magically on point, better than you could imagine - so you can use it to do all the important things already??
”Every word Andrea writes earns its place on the page.
Not only is writing alongside Andrea a joy where you’ll get clearer, crisper copy, but you’ll also get a strategic-thinking partner.
She doesn’t take a sentence for granted and enabled me to pump up sales copy that would have otherwise left money on the table.”
- Paula Rizzo, Emmy-Award Winning Producer, Media Consultant and Author of Listful Living
It’s true. This fall is a time of changing schedules for our little fam - Oz is feeling better, Mike is working… etc. Into that space:
Deep writing that cracks open the core of your best ideas… with coaching ahas along the way .. writing that LASTS and serves for DECADES…that’s what I’m making room for!
Plus, with my art coming on stream, I’m more visual than ever and can help you CREATE metaphors or illustrations as companion pieces of IP. (Heck, it’s what I used to do at CoachVille for Thomas, and ever since, just under the ‘coaching’ banner.) (Cool, but now I want to fly a WRITING BANNER too. Hint: This is that writing banner.)
Short projects or ongoing ones, big deal book projects or ‘just’ a single piece, if it’s content that makes the world better, I’m interested.
Want me on retainer? Can consider. Got a big presentation, I’m up for that. How about a big media article placement you got? That can change EVERYTHING! Ya gotta get clear for that to soar. (WaPo.)
Oh, and if it is paradigm-shifting content, or legacy content bringing out your life’s work for once and for all? EVEN MORE INTERESTED.***
Enough hiding my writing under a rock. Time to break glass.
Powerful, kind, life-giving writing gets done, we strategise and coach along the way, your to do list gets shorter. Whoa. But what else? You LOVE the writing deeply, as well? « these are my goals for this work.
How about you, you got any goals for finished writing this season? Share some details here and let’s do it!
***I’m likely to have room for just a handful of thought-leader / strategic writing gigs this fall, depending on the size of project. Give me a sense of scope when you hit reply, please. First come, first serve - no false urgency or adrenaline, it’s just the nature of linear time. :p
P.S. Because I coach along the way, sharing the why behind the writing? You will become a better writer and thinker as we go - if you want. Yep! It’s pretty dang awesome.
”For purposeful writing, Andrea’s the one to work with.
Using a beautiful process, Andrea employed coaching and strategic writing skills to tune in, listen deeply and rewrite our Mission, Vision and Values.
There are a lot of people who can write -
and OMG I’ve tried a LOT of them- but not a lot of people who get to the heart of what wants to be said.
The result is beautiful, eloquent and connects. We return to this writing now as a guidepost and barometer to tell us if we’re overall on track or not.” (IAOBM)
- Tina Forsyth, Founder, Institute of Online Business Managers, Leadership Coach and Author of the Entrepreneur Trap
“You writing for me - and these scripts? Are just gangster!
Keep opening your mouth. I’m typing as fast as I can.”
- Ghostwriting client who shall remain nameless. I just LOLed at being called gangster in any way. Have you SEEN what I look like in real life??? Okay, yes. We can redefine gangster…
photo credit: Photo at top by Matthew Henry on Unsplash